There is a lot of talk around self-control especially in the field of addictions and emotion regulation (those go together for some reason).

The story sounds a little like this.

“I know this is a bad decision, I logically know this will crash and burn but I can’t help myself. I’m on a freight train and can’t get off”.

This applies to drugs, bad relationships, stupidity, impulsivity, anger, bad decisions, doing something without considering the consequences, selfishness, indulging, etc. The underlying belief is lack of self-control.

I have to disagree. There is significant irrational belief at play here, including false hope, unreasonable optimism and, most importantly the arrogance that comes with making a choice because you want to and not because you have no self-control. Namely, stubbornness. Or needing to learn the hard way.

Don’t get on that train.

Imagine you are standing tall with your feet firmly grounded on the platform watching the trains come and go. There is the sadness train. The alcohol train. The guy who rejected you train. The affair train. The sex train…fill in the blank. Once you get on it, you know exactly where it will take you and you will ride it all the way to the final station only to realize you have just wasted time and lost something along the way.

Loss is always present.

Trains come and go. Don’t get on that train. There is another one coming. I promise.

1 thought on “Trains

  1. Elvita–This is such an amazing take on addictions. We are not victim to the vice. Yes–genes and bad habits learned early on play their part, but as adults we have the ability to suspend impulsivity and blind optimism and make wise, rational choices that are healthy alternatives to destruction.

    Wonderful job!

    Thank you for posting.

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