The past couple of weeks have put the phrase “you can’t control things” into a whole new perspective. We are built to have expecations. It’s in our human DNA.
You expect your work day to go a certain way, something else happens
You expect others to play by the rules, something else happens
You like/love someone and expect them to like/love you back, something else happens
You expect your party to go a certain way, something else happens
You expect to get that big job you’ve always dreamt of, something else happens
You expect to be with your spouse for the rest of your life, something else happens
You expect to graduate from college, something else happens
You expect a baby, something else happens…
You plan your life to go a certain way but something ELSE happens.
By always expecting we are perpetually waiting. For our futures to happen.
And in doing so, we miss what’s happening right here, right now. In Buddhist mediation, focusing on your breath will bring you back to right here and now. It’s that simple.
So remember to breathe. And be present. Learn to let go of your need to control things, people, outcomes. I know it has worked for you in the past. In the past your focused efforts have yielded results. Where did your learn your expectations, your need for control?
It’s extremely hard to let go of our expectations and need for control. But when things don’t go according to the plan, take a deep breath and refocus. Taking a detour is better than dwelling on feeling stuck.
Sometimes there is simply no plan, rule or logic to how things happen.
They just do.